Long night is long

One of those nights where you decide it's morning. For some reason I've been really cold all night, huddling under extra blankets.

One and a half hours to go before Germany officially wakes up and the long day begins.

Sibling here at nine thirty.

Everyone close to Pol is Very Upset and it's all very weird and also exactly like every account I've ever read of dealing with a death in the family.

The roughest part so far is the daily 'Night night' text I didn't send before I tried to sleep. I called Ccooke instead who was calm, compassionate and let me grieve until I was tired/relaxed enough to yawn.

I mean I didn't sleep much, if at all, but I gave it the best possible try. Several times!

Decisions have to be made, and everyone who needs to be involved isn't in a good place. Pol's will is very, very clear, it's like a last gift from him.

On a lighter note, the windowsill magpies have just arrived and are trying different strategies to make suet and mealworms happen, but I long ago decided that Real Morning is never until the alarm goes at 7:30am, and they don't get fed until after that, ever.

Paperwork

I have a Notepad file, pragmatically named, with a list of people, things happening, and things to do and get or that are being got.

I am waiting on an email from his workplace to start a lot of balls rolling. Pol gets repatriated to a particular undertaker whose name and number I have, Pol's brother is willing to handle that end, and Kira, the executor of his will, can take up the horrible business of tidying away all his paperwork, disbursing his accounts, letting people know, letting people know, letting people know. Depending on insurance details, I may have the name and number for the German undertaker too.

I have the name and number of a policeman in Dusseldorf who was kind and clear on what happened.

Once I have A Number, lots of things can start to happen.

Until then, we wait.

It's been an incredibly long day with not much sleep, but sibling is out getting OTC omeprazole so that at least I won't have to deal with the raging indigestion that FOR SOME REASON I seem to have right now.

These are awful circumstances, but I am seeing people I know at their best. Absolutely nobody is leaving me on my own to just get on with it.

To people who are letting me wibble on the phone: thank you so much. Thank you also to those who have been sending best wishes and hugs.

The Wake

People have mooted the idea of an online gathering to celebrate Paul's life and I think it's a very good idea. If anyone willing to help with that would put themselves forward it would be really appreciated. Please reply here or email or message on Twitter or text. Very probably I shall gather a list and work it out from there.

Edit: I have undone the setting that blocked anonymous posts.