Apr. 22nd, 2013

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Possibly as a result of the stomach bug, or just because it happens, I had an M.E. relapse ten days or so ago. I've been feeling fluey in general, and it has been much worse if I exert myself to any extent, usually hitting me the next day. My cognitive abilities have declined, my memory has become spotty, and I have been just generally all round ill. As soon as it hit, I immediately went into full sloth mode, and I am already starting to get better but I am obviously not fit and well. I'm taking this week off volunteering, and took last week off too, but I fully intend to go back to it next week, on reduced hours and taking care of myself.

On top of this, I've been hit by depression. Not badly (I don't want to kill myself, and I am not even thinking about it.) Just enough to drain me of all motivation and make it really, really difficult to make a decision, then act on that decision. I sat up until midnight last night because I couldn't summon the will to go to bed at my usual bedtime, which is 10pm. I spent this morning making a schedule I can keep to, as evidently without one I just drift.

I'm pretty sure the depression is the result of a combination of not doing my usual activities, and because I have had to stop looking for a paying job.

I'm watching a lot of West Wing. Damn, that's a good series.


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May 2014

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